There are no set of rules about the best time to be the parents all over again and despite your best planning, your next baby may come at an altogether different time than you ever expected !For us, adding a second child was an adjustment. My elder daughter was just 8-months-old when I conceived my second one. We accepted the things as they came but somewhere inside, I secretly feared we’d made a terrible mistake.
Being a new baby, the younger one demanded constant attention and gave maddeningly little sleep. I was so occupied with both of them that little did I feel my own existence for months! There are some aspects to being a parent that a non-parent would never know. My children became the reason for my speedy recovery and today, every day I am loved by my children the most !
7 Things to Consider Before Planning a Second BabyWith each new child, the family dynamics change. Below are some aspects which need to be taken care of before planning for a second baby:
1 - Age Gaps between the Children: Some think that the older your first child is, the better. That way they’ve had plenty of time with you before their sibling comes along. Other families favour smaller age gaps, suggesting that it ensures your children will be playmates for life.
2 - Your own Age: Unfortunately, parental age matters, especially for women. However, there are no hard and fast cut-offs in terms of your age. Fertility rates do drop dramatically once you reach 35, but many women still successfully conceive in their early 40s.
3 - What Research Says: In terms of the child’s relationship with the parents, sibling rivalry, and his own self-esteem, research says the best time is either when your first child is under 1 or between 3–5 years old. (However, babies conceived before 1 year or more than five years after your first child, in both the cases may face an increased risk of being premature and underweight). Children under 1 don’t have a sense of their exclusive status yet, so they’re less apt to resent a newcomer, while children over 5 years develop the sense of belonging and behave as Attention seekers.
4 - Your Lifestyle: May be you have just settled into a nice routine with your other child or perhaps you’ve gotten to the point where you and your partner have time for each other again or maybe you’ve gone back to work and you love it, consider whether you have the time and energy an infant requires.
5 - Your financial situation: While money isn’t everything, you do need some financial stability when you’re raising a family.
6 - Your Partner’s views: Sometimes, one partner is ready and the other isn’t. It’s hard to be in sync all the time. But it doesn’t mean this can’t be settled.
7 - Your Secret Desire: Sure, you can sit and jot down all the pros and cons but there are decisions that are led by heart and basic instincts, so go ahead and follow yours. If your partner and you want another baby, there may be no time like the present.
Of course, everyone around would have an opinion on perfect baby timing and family size, but weigh the pros and cons, before deciding.
